Rewind: Let's Take a Step Back

You know, we hear and confirm all the time that life is flying by at a million miles an hour and things are going by so fast that we never take the time to sit back and appreciate them. It’s so true. I’m only 24 and I know I’m constantly feeling like time is flying by and I won’t have enough of it to accomplish everything I’m called to do. I have A LOT to say about this, and will, in a future entry. There are so many things happening in my life at the moment; but I still need to get things all settled before I can go into depth about them here. But know that a long post will be coming in the next few weeks explaining so much about the past few months of my life. I know I’ve been conspicuously absent from this blog for so long now, and this has been the main reason. I’ve been dying to write so many things; but I need to make sure everything is settled in reality before I can divulge it all online. How terrible would it be to find something out about someone online rather than from them personally? So hold out just a little longer dear followers, I will fill you all in soon, I promise.

That aside, I’ve been looking back through my entries and I have several drafts written up that I’ve never posted. I edit and reedit my entries depending on what I’m saying and I end up not getting the chance to finish them sometimes. Then, life flies by, and I never go back to finish or post them. It’s a shame really; some are funny and interesting or have really great moments. At this point however, I’m going to do a really quick summary of a few of them so the gist can at least fall into the expansive abyss that is the web for random people to stumble upon. That, and I’m trying to wrap up a bunch of things I’ve left open and waiting for far too long.

A few were explaining my summer, beyond the identity crisis I went through, these entries were the fun stuff: travels, adventures, and sun! So here is the short version (all richness of detail extricated, which is unfortunate, but I suspect I don’t hold people’s interest much anyway, so why assist the process). After the semester ended, I went to DC with Kayla to visit my sister. We did all of the touristy things: monuments, museums, the works. I realized after all the times I had been to DC to help my sister move and graduate and everything in between, I still had never seen any of these. She moved back to PA in the middle of the summer, so that was my last chance with a free place to crash. Kayla and I returned to DC for a second visit several weeks later where we met up with some of my old friends from high school. We went out to the bars (Kayla and I, my sister and her friends, and my high school friends) and made new friends. Kayla and I got to go rock climbing with these friends the next day. I went hiking several times with Jeremiah as we got to know each other, become friends, and ultimately began dating. I became even closer with the VanScoten clan than I was and am continually blessed by their impact on my life. Kayla and I then took a kayaking trip down the Delaware River and paddled 80 miles in three days. That’s about a third of the entire length. The goal is to knock out the other two thirds in the future. Following that, Kayla and I went down to Nola for a few days and had an amazing time touring, biking, visiting Tulane, eating beignets, and so many things that would take pages more than I can spare to discuss here and now. It was a really eventful and life changing summer for sure. I’m so blessed for all of the opportunities I’ve had and can’t wait to see what else is in store for future summers.

I also had a draft that was about a great moment I had in church. I’m going to just cut and paste it below. Keep in mind it was probably about mid-summer that I actually wrote this, so it’s dated, but it was well expressed and when I read back through it I knew I wanted to make sure it did actually get posted at some point. So here goes:

“I had a really amazing moment in church probably a month or so ago now. The pastor asked all the women to place our hands on the men and pray over them for something specific that we were talking about in church that day. I placed my hand on the guy I was sitting with at the time but noticed another man in front of me with no women next to him. I admit I did hesitate, I'm not always the most outgoing in these areas, but I truly felt like I had to step up so I placed my other hand on this man's shoulder to pray over him as well. As pastor was praying I kept thinking about how my arm was starting to hurt because I was reaching out so far to be able to touch this man's shoulder. Almost as soon as I finished that thought I felt God telling me that sometimes it may be uncomfortable or even painful to reach out to others to touch them with God's love, but the joy of knowing you endured it to glorify Him is so amazingly wonderful. It was a big slap in the face for my missionary heart and definitely an arrow pointing me toward my appropriate future. The symbolism that God showed me in that instant was truly awesome. After service that man came up to me and shook my hand and thanked me several times. He said it meant so much to him and he felt so compelled to tell me how grateful he was. I know that was God's way of confirming what He had just planted in my heart.”

Even now, rereading this does great things in my spirit. God is just so awesome. This excerpt will also be very intriguing to keep in mind for when I am able to finally write the long post I mentioned at the start of this one. It was a powerful moment for me and I think these kinds of moments are crucial to share to uplift and encourage others.

There was one other draft in the battery of half-written thoughts on my page, but this one I think I will actually write, eventually. It has no real significance, but it just fun and interesting. I intend to get much more involved on this blog again in the next few months, so I’m sure it will be posted at some point. I guess at this point, that’s all I have for this post. Basically, I just wanted to address the things I had already drafted but never posted and put them out here in some form at least; and give anyone who actually reads this a heads up that I haven’t dropped off the planet and that big things are coming: a huge story about change and growth and a much more attentive writer to her blog. Big things are happening, don’t shy away from the greatness you’re called to! Until next time faithful readers, adieu!

Chapter 1: The Future

I’ve been very pensive lately. I’m not sure why exactly. I think it has to do with having the last week off (granted I spent 90% of it in bed with the flu). But I spent a good bit of time discussing the future and I’m now both excited and nervous and so many other things that the only word I can use is pensive.

I think I’ll start out with the one future event that I am completely sure of how I feel about it. I am going to Romania in just over two weeks. I booked my flight yesterday and I am so excited. My friend grew up there and we have been discussing the possibility of going to visit her family and it has finally come to fruition courtesy of travelzoo’s cheap flights. In a last minute decision, a few other friends decided to come as well; so now there are a total of four of us going for a week. I have never been to Eastern Europe and I am going to hit at least two countries while I am there (we are flying into Hungary and visiting that area as well as spending time in Romania). We will have a fluent tour guide, a free place to stay, and so many good times that I just can’t wait. My desire for travel is always looming and while I’ve been lucky enough to do a decent bit of traveling so far these past twelve months, I haven’t been out of the country for several years. I realize that this sounds like a really snobby, yuppie comment but I’ve said it many times before: travel is my biggest passion. The fact that I can escape school for a week and go traveling to new and exciting places with natives is so thrilling it’s beyond describable to me. I’ve had this feeling in my chest when it comes to traveling for most of my life and I have still not found a coherent way to describe it. I’m sure you’ll catch scattered attempts in this blog to describe this feeling as time passes but I can guarantee I’ll never do it justice.

Beyond my impending trip to Romania, the next future event I suppose I can talk about is moving to New Orleans. I spent maybe 36 hours in nola during our road trip this summer and even then I was talking to people about moving there someday. When I went back on my birthday I solidified that idea to myself and started telling people that I wanted to move there when it was feasible. Feasible is approximately one year from now. Whoa. My initial reaction is to be so excited that I can finally start living a life fully my own. No more following a path more or less laid out for me, no more living where I have been more or less told to be, but really choosing my own life path. Where I want to go, what I want to do, no one around to fall back on or bail me out. That’s amazing! I’m mostly independent as it is but this is a whole new level of independence that I have been craving. Recently, and very unfortunately in terms of productivity for school things, I have been looking at real estate in the nola area. I want a good idea of what is available so that I can take a few trips down there, look at places to live, and start making deals to set everything up. The thing that has now started making me nervous is the location of New Orleans within the US. I’m not an idiot or naïve; I realize where hurricanes are and recognize the devastation that has been left behind from Katrina simply because of the geography of nola. While looking at this real estate however, I have had my first realizations of the reality of nature in that area. I’m not saying this is a deterrent for me to go; it just makes me a bit more nervous than I originally was. It’s hard coming to grips with all of the natural differences/dangers when you’re on an independence streak and just want to break out on your own. Like I said, not a full deterrent by any means, it just leaves a lingering nervousness where it used to be fully excitement. Something interesting however, is that I’ve talked to my dad briefly about some of these things and he actually was supportive and discussed options with me. He talked to me like this was a real possibility and gave me adult advice; it made me feel like a mature adult, a real “grown up;” and while my dad has always treated me like an adult, there was something different about this, and it made me feel really good about the entire situation. So while there is definitely way more excitement brewing in me about this than nervousness, the reality of the situation has definitely come out of the rose colored glasses I had unknowingly been wearing.

I had a few other things I wanted to talk about in this entry but it is already decently long, so I think I will save them for subsequent entries. I also feel like I haven’t really described things well in this entry and that I’ve been talking in circles. It doesn’t help that I’ve been writing while talking to people as well as having started and stopped writing several times before I finally got to this point. Regardless, I guess the main point here is just to convey my excitement for future events as well as to bring up the reality that is bearing down on me about the future. I promise my next entry will be more coherent and straightforward. Adieu!

Sunt incantata!

A Flashback: Nola

My birthday passed in January and this year was particularly awesome. After a month long roadtrip during the summer, I discovered that my favorite U.S. city was New Orleans. So, when I learned that there was going to be a book-release party (the final book in a series I have been following for five or six years), on my birthday, in New Orleans, it seemed like fate and I decided I was going to go. This was my first trip completely on my own, not meeting up with family when I landed, and I was excited for the ensuing adventure.

I spent the nights leading up to my departure rereading the four previous books so I would be reminded of all the subtle nuances within the plot. I "got up" at 3am to get ready to leave for the airport. "Getting up" in reality was setting down the book I was rereading because there was no sleep to be had that night. I was picked up by a friend, made the long drive to JFK, which is much nicer at that time of morning while it's still dark, I might add. I made my way through the airport, found my gate, boarded my plane and settled in for the flight. I am pretty sure the flight was full--besides the two other seats in my row; a great start. I did a little more reading and managed to sleep a little before touching down in Louisiana. I got a cab and was dropped off at the edge of the French Quarter; a video camera in hand and a bag on my back was all I needed and I was thrilled.

I spent the day exploring the quarter. Got a Po' Boy for lunch, bought a few souvenirs, relaxed in Jackson Square, and just basked in the vibe that is New Orleans. I was finally able to check into my hotel that afternoon where I rested up before heading out for a quick dinner and then a ghost and vampire tour. The tour was at night and our guide, the self-proclaimed "Scary Mary" was, well, a very un-scary old lady who took frequent swigs from a flask that none of us could tell quite where it

materialized from. But the tour was fun and showed another side of the Quarter than I hadn't seen; and if nothing else, I learned a lot of interesting history about the city. I had my first beignets from Cafe du Monde that night, and was more-than-pleasantly surprised to find that basically, a beignet is funnel cake in a different shape. Fantastic.

After finally having some time to sleep, I got up early and wandered to a cafe near the Mississippi River. I sat at the bar, chatting with Murry, the bartender, who was a Pittsburg-native and enjoyed telling me things I should see while I sympathized with him over the demanding servers he worked with. I spent my time enjoying the local band playing in the corner, people-watching, and chatting with people who were curious about all of the patches on my bag. I finally left and headed to Jackson Square where the first day's festivities were to start. The author had arranged a few activities for those who were coming to the release; and day one was a scavenger hunt through the Quarter. We were put into teams of ten. The ladies on my team and myself had a great time running through the streets trying to find the answers to our clues before our time was up. We didn't win, but considering our members came from Alabama, Northern Louisiana, Washington State, Pennsylvania, New York, Michigan, and a few other places, we think we did great; especially since the winning team had two nola locals in it. The whole point was for us to bond anyway and we certainly did that. We went out for dinner at Acme Oyster House, then wandered to the hotel where the release and signing was to occur to check everything out and hang out a bit longer. After several hours of enjoying our group's company, we parted ways for the evening. One of my group-mates was my age, and at midnight, she and I went out because I had just officially turned 23. We hung around on Bourbon Street with some of the others from the book group, and ultimately found our way to a club and enjoyed dancing until we were too tired to stay. We headed back to our hotels (making sure we each got back safe) and finally slept.

The next morning I was thrilled: my birthday! In nola! (For anyone who doesn't get the "nola" thing, it's just an acronym for New Orleans, LA). I got up and headed to Cafe du Monde. The ladies from my group had decided to have breakfast together (I told you we bonded quick). I actually had a reservation to eat at The Court of Two Sisters, a famous restaurant in the area, so I saw them for a few minutes before going my own way. My birthday breakfast was absolutely prefect. It was a buffet and my server was so excited to show me all of the things I had to try and what to mix how to eat it. Everything was great. I finally has some real southern grits! After I had eaten so much that I couldn't fit anything else, he came out with a piece of cake with a candle in it and had the band sing a nola version of "happy birthday" to me. Amazing. When I finally left there, a huge grin on my face, I met back up with the ladies and we spent a few hours shopping in the open markets, chatting, and enjoying the glorious warm weather (I was walking around in a t-shirt, knowing there was several inches of snow back home). After laying in some grass in Jackson Square, and finally finishing rereading all of the previous books, we made our way to the hotel for the book release. The line was crazy--but I blame this on the setup. We were on the second floor of the hotel; the signing room was at the end of the hall, but the rest of the hall was a normal floor--meaning rooms everywhere and very little space. The line wound its way up one

side of the hall, down the other, and wrapped back up the middle. This doesn't even count for all the people that took one look at the line and left to come back later. Two and a half hours later I finally had the book in my hands. Now the race was on: read all 600 pages before the Q and A section at noon the next day. Ready? Go!

I think I ultimately slept for an hour and a half; and I still was 150 pages shy of finishing. I got to the Q and A at noon the next day and had a blast. I was talking to this one woman who was an English professor at a university up north (although I can't remember where anymore) and we chatted about the classes I teach and other things and it was really cool. The author answered all (well most-there were some things she couldn't say or she'd ruin future books) of our questions and I just couldn't help but love the community within the room. Most of the people didn't know each other but everyone had bonded through the journey that MacKayla "Mac" Lane, the main character, had faced through these five books. Her trials, pains, joys, doubts, fears, and achievements brought people from all over the country together; I love that about good books, it's like there's some kind of magic within the pages. It pulls you in; a new world full of possibilities. After the Q and A, the man who narrates the audio books (and is apparently well know/has won awards for doing so) read us a passage from the book which was great; it was really cool watching him take on the character and make it his own. Then there was a raffle and prizes given; and just like that, it was over. I left the hotel a little sad. The excitement and anticipation and everything was all in the past now. But I still had a few hours left and I was going to make the most of them. I spent the last hours of daylight lying in the Square and reading those last 150 pages. Then I finished buying gifts for people back home and grabbed some dinner to go. I went up to the edge of the Mississippi and ate. The stars were beautiful. There was a warm breeze on my face as I watched the boats come and go through the water and listened to the sounds of people and Jazz wafting through the streets at my back. I think I sat there for hours. I didn't want to leave. I knew the moment I went back to my hotel that was it. I would

get up in the morning, catch a plane, and be gone. So I sat. And sat. And sat. There is something calm and peaceful about the mixture of all those sounds all around you. It felt like another world. When I had finally said goodbye to the Crescent City, I made my final walk through the Quarter, heading to my hotel. I packed up my things and crawled into bed.

The next morning went so fast. I was up, checked out, in a cab, at the airport, and on a plane. I remember each moment distinctively; but they came and went in the snap of a finger. Goodbye nola. It was an amazing adventure and reading the chronological events here will never do justice to what the experience was like. I tell people all the time that there is just a "vibe" about the city that I love so much, and I really don't know how else to explain it. There's just a deep-rooted feeling of peace, excitement, anticipation, and adventure all wrapped up in that place for me. There's a history and a culture that will not be ignored; it seeps into your pores. The people are so friendly, nothing like the northeast. Even this doesn't do justice to the city; it's barely even a start. But I will get back there someday; and when that finally happens I will take another shot at explaining the magic that is New Orleans.